Especially in men’s spaces.
First, a forward. I have already written the entire post below and I have been sitting on posting it for far too long. Because I’m scared to put my real feelings out there and become “that chick” who complains about being a woman and always yammers on about feminism and blah blah. But damn this feeling! If I can’t have my thoughts on my own page, where can I have them?
So I say this to you now: If you don’t want to hear a wee bit of whining about the BS that I’ve dealt with solely for being a woman, stop reading here. That’s all this is.
Okay! To the thing:
In grade nine I took small engines class. I got to watch every other student in the class work on a boat or other big projects that were brought in while I had to “learn” from textbooks and after basically begging was allowed to be part of a group that fixed a weed whacker.
Guess what the different was between me and the other students? ( . Y . )
The next year I joined the electric car club where we built and raced an electric car. The teacher that ran this club also taught my wood-shop class which I was at the top of, and had me and other (male) students help build his cottage. I considered him a good teacher and person.
Despite this, I was always assumed to be the one doing all the paperwork for the car club and I had to ask repeatedly to be involved with any of the labour.
But hey, it was an improvement, right?
Then in grade eleven I was eligible to work co-op for credits and knew I wanted to try a trade. My co-op teacher mentioned every time we met how easily I would get accepted because I was a girl. He never once brought up my aptitude for the actual work.
Of course, I got in. I started my apprenticeship in electrical at sixteen and loved the actual work. The environment, well, it left a lot to be desired.
I was sent up every ladder possible while my coworkers brought other tradesmen on the site over to show off my butt. I was always the “medic” if someone was hurt because that’s women’s work. My coworkers always made sure I heard them when they were discussing how useless their wives – and eventually women in general – were.
I’m hoping this picture is really being painted for you.
Why am I telling you this? Why blog about this BS?
Well, first, it feels good to finally get it out in the open. To publicly express my frustrations – both past and present.
I also hope that if you’re on this tiny random page in the corner of the internet, you may be invested enough to want to understand why it can feel like I have my back up during certain online interactions.
When I’m talking about my faulty RAM in a man’s stream and he puts on a sweet voice and explains about reseating RAM, going so far to explain that it involves taking the side of the case off and maybe my better half can do it, I’m reminded of all the misogyny from my past.
Then when I take my PC to a shop to have my BIOS flashed because I only have the one Ryzen CPU and the worker at the shop talks to me like a normal human being, using all the jargon that comes with PC building and repair, I notice – and LOVE – this! But. That’s also a little sad isn’t it? Either way, they get 100 % of my business now.
I create content mostly centred on games that could be considered geared towards men. Cities: Skylines – a city builder – and Rimworld – a colony management game with ALL the war crimes. I genuinely have lost count at how many times I am offered “help” in my chat when I’m streaming these games. Help that if they had spent long enough to get past “oh a woman playing this game she must need help”, they would know that I have it well under control.
Of course I’m aware that this happens in almost all streams, but when it happens to me I can not help but wonder if it’s because I’m a woman. Because I certainly know how to play Cities. ; )
One last example of my current frustrations. Just the other day I mentioned to my dad that I hit the payment threshold for YouTube for the first time and his immediate response was to question “what kind” of videos I’m making.
Yes dad. The only type of video I have to offer to the world must be porn.
I fear I’m just ranting at this point, so I’ll wrap up. I hope you are able to see that when a woman is hesitant in a situation or feels like she isn’t being taken seriously, these feelings come from somewhere. The current situation may not be one of misogyny, but when we’ve grown up with it as a constant it’s our norm to be on guard.
Offer us a little patience when you can.
I’m so extremely fortunate to have a spouse that treats me wholly as an equal and as a partner. Who recognizes when I’m wronged and who keeps me grounded when I want to overreact. In a future post I may touch back on this and how the little things to help lift us women up really do mean the world.
Whelp. How do I end these things? Thank you for reading my rambles. Remember to keep your stick on the ice. Let’s keep the next topic a little more lighthearted.
Peace and love. ✌️
ToadieZzz 